This week’s reading includes a passage that presents a perpetual challenge for me as a follower of Jesus. I don’t like it. I would prefer to ignore it. Even better, I would love to forget it.
I can say that about a number of passages, but this one is where I would start.
It is not even a passage really. It is just a sentence. But it is a confrontational sentence. And it is an invasive sentence. For me it is a disconcerting sentence. Simply put, it reeks havoc on my perspective and sensibilities.
In John 12:25 Jesus says, “Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (NIV). Why would He have to go and say that?
I want to be all about loving my life. In fact, day in and day out I find myself working ardently to remove the things I hate from my life so I can love my life even more. And I am actually pretty good at it. I can eliminate the things that I hate with a precision and fervor that is virtually unrivalled anywhere else in my world.
For the most part I don’t even have to think about it. And I hardly consider it work. It just comes naturally.
But then Jesus comes along and in one sentence He tells me that the way I am inclined to pursue my life, and the way I want to pursue my life, is a problem. He says my natural tendency is diametrically opposed to how I am supposed actually to go about it.
That would be one thing if we were talking about some of the fringe things in my life. If it were some of the peripheral things I could buy in a lot faster. It would be reasonable to me if it were even some sort of balance. Say I get to love 75% of my life and hate only 25%? 60/40? OK. 50/50… final offer.
But Jesus says, “No Deal.” Instead He goes for the motherload. He wants it all. And that appalls me.
Is there not something in and of myself that I can hang on to? Is there not one morsel of myself that I can indulge? Surely there has to be something!
Nope.
And at that point it comes down to this: am I going to walk away from Jesus’s assessment convinced of my own self-sufficiency, or am I going to accept it as the measure of how sick I really am? Which is to say, how big a problem is my pride?
Thankfully, God has helped me see Jesus’s words as an assessment of the significance of my pride. It would be nice to just forget about this sentence and pursue the life I love. But here I am confronted with the fact that my pride will kill me. I don’t like it, but it’s true.
Therefore, I can’t just forget about it. Or ignore it. Which means that every day I have to try to learn to adjust my natural operational paradigm for life. And therein lies the challenge.
-Doug Baynton
(Lead Pastor)